Posted by: Renee | July 15, 2008

Hugging Daddy Is No Substitute For A Good Fuck

Cross posted from womanistmusings.

The sex police are at it again. I came across this article at feministing. According to Janice Turner, the creator of Power of Purity classes at New Birth Ministries, “Girls give in to sex not because they want sex – it’s like a hug. If they can get that from their fathers, they won’t need it from a boyfriend.” I know that the woman has had sex because she has a daughter, but she clearly must never have had an orgasm.  People have sex because it feels good. Here is another little thing that she forgot in her message about female chastity, women also have sex with each other, and you know what, that also feels good. It’s not all about the penis.

Turner is part of the purity movement that is trying to restrict female sexuality. Girls get all dressed up in white, (love the imagery) Daddy dearest gives them a ring, and they pledge not to engage in sex until marriage. Aww how fucking sweet. No sex until Daddy has turned you over to another man. Nice.  I’m thinking that this would make a great Duracell commercial…cause if you stick with this, you are going to need an endless amount of batteries for the vibrator you are going to have to purchase.

The best part of this whole strategy is that “Purity will never break their hearts.” If perhaps the girl is feeling a certain sense of malaise because she has already lowered herself and lost her pride, the vow can still be taken. Yes sinners, repent and it shall all be washed away. To be honest the whole incestuous leaning of the purity movement is down right creepy. The purity ceremony mirrors that of a wedding ceremony, with the saying of vows and exchanging of rings.  It is all about male control over female bodies, and puts the onus on saying no on young women. Though Turner asserts that, “Sex is only a small part of relationships,” I feel that the opposite in fact is true.  If it were not such an issue, there would not be a purity and abstinence movement dedicated to disciplining it and controlling it.

Wrapped in religious doctrine about pride and self esteem is the message that good girls don’t. Good girls don’t really like it. Good girls only say yes when they have permission to say yes. This denies the positive effect that sex can have on the well being of an individual, and it denies that women do indeed enjoy sex. It further promotes heteronormativity. There are a host of reasons to run screaming from this movement.  Don’t be fooled because they have colluders like Turner pushing the message.  The decision to engage  in sex should not be based on guilt or shame, it should be based on whether or not it is an equal respectful relationship that involves reciprocity. The surest way to teach young women to respect themselves is to validate their decisions, not shame them into obedience.

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Responses

  1. I thought the whole point of the abstinence movement was to take the focus off of sex. Purity balls strike me as heavily influenced by sex and reinforcing women as the gatekeepers. I never see chastity balls for young men who promise their mothers not to sleep with women until their wedding day–I suppose it goes against the alleged natural order of things.

    Why not a movement to strengthen the relationships between parents and children so their children can be honest and forthright about themselves and their experiences. Daughters shouldn’t be shamed to the point where they’re willing to risk their health rather than asking for birth control or doctor’s appointments for fear of getting into trouble with their parents.

  2. Call that shit out!

    And good points, outcrazyophelia.

  3. Society is full of contradictions when it comes to sex and gender roles anyways. It’s supposed to be ‘bad’ when a woman wants sex, but it’s perfectly acceptable when a man wants it. A woman that sleeps with numerous partners is a ‘slut’, where a man that sleeps with numerous partners is a ‘player’. Well, if women aren’t supposed to have sex, then I guess men are supposed to have it with each other? Nope! Homosexuality is a taboo too!

    How the HELL did mankind make it this far anyways?


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