Posted by: Ophelia | January 19, 2009

Gotta catch em all


So I’ve been seeing many ads for lately. Its supposed to be an international dating site–however, the testimonials indicate that it’s for white guys that want foreign Asian women–no Asian men seeking European women allowed apparently. (I found the testimonials particularly cringe worthy when they talk about how they didn’t like the guy but then they did and now they’re married, or how their parents didn’t agree with the age gap. Something rubs me the wrong way about the way they talk about their relationships). However, this company didn’t stop there. They’ve also got which is meant to introduce “the world” to African singles. They’re also behind interracial for those looking for an “interracial dating experience”. Honestly I’m not sure if my senses are failing me. Maybe they’re just managing to put a creepy spin in their ad copy on perfectly reasonable relationship preferences. Or maybe the notion of trying to introduce “the world” to particular nationalities of women is in fact creepy since it presents them as undiscovered objects and not like people.



  1. I agree with you completely about the creepy bent. I might be totally wrong, but I think that someone going on a dating site looking for a specific race, is not really looking for a true relationship, but to fulfill a fantasy. It might turn into a relationship like the testimonials say, but I think in the person’s head it’s always going to be “my Asian girlfriend” – the fantasy, never just “my girlfriend”.
    Your last line is totally right. They’re not presented as people.

  2. That’s a good point that I tried to get around. At what point does something escalate from a preference to an all out fetish? Furthermore, if you see your significant other as a fetish object, do you see them as a person first or last–and does it matter if both parties agree?

    That in turn made me wonder, is the website at fault for encouraging the fetishization of women for their nationality, or are they responding to their audience–and if there is a difference, does it matter in the end?

  3. The audience is looking for a fetish object which happens to be an Asian/African/etc woman – so yes, I think the website is perpetuating that. I might be a bit out of line saying that, as always there will be people for whom it’s not a “fetish” and think they have nothing more than a preference.
    In the end if a couple are happy, power to them…but I’m not believing testimonials from a website encouraging this!
    All in all, thanks for posting this.

  4. Yeah honestly those testimonials creeped me out the most.

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