Posted by: manafanana | February 22, 2009

An open letter to guys at bars

Notice the body language in this picture- this guy seems to be following all the rules.

Notice the body language in this picture- this guy seems to be following all the rules.

There is a local bar in my town that my friends and I frequent. It’s everyone’s favorite bar because even in the summer season, only locals go there, it’s clean, it has amazing food (brick-oven pizza), 40 beers on tap, and a generally nice atmosphere. Great.

However, like any bar, it has its occasional assholes. And I seem to attract them like I have “welcome assholes” tattooed across my face. Several times in the past month or so I have been hit on at this bar. That’s fine. I don’t mind being hit on, or rather I wouldn’t if guys would follow these simple rules (pay attention guys):

1)    Don’t touch me, especially before you even introduce yourself—being drunk doesn’t make it okay.

2)    Don’t touch me.

3)    Don’t use racial slurs, bash gay people, or call other women (or me, for that matter) ‘bitches,’ ‘cunts,’ etc. I don’t understand why this comes up as much as it does—where the hell have you been learning your pick-up lines?

4)    Don’t bother me if I am clearly with another group of people. (I was cornered by this guy a few weeks ago who knew I was there with 10 friends, yet insisted I would rather talk to him.)

5)    Just because you’re a regular and all the barflies and bartenders like you doesn’t mean I have to, and doesn’t give you the right to invade my personal space.

6)    Don’t call me ‘sweetie.’ I have a name.

7)    Don’t be contrary. This is one for your benefit, guys, not mine. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve been turned off to because they want to argue with me without knowing anything about me. For example:
Guy: “So what do you do?”
Me: “I’m a teacher, but I’m applying to law school for next fall. My top choice is _____________.”
Guy: (In a condescending tone) “Why are you applying to _____________? That’s a terrible school, you should be applying to ______________.”
Me: (Thinking) ‘Gee, I’d never assume that as a contractor who has never met me before, you would turn out to be my personal law school advisor.’

8)    If I ask you to leave me alone, LEAVE ME ALONE. I don’t need to provide you with an explanation.

9)    Would it kill you to buy me a drink? I don’t hit on guys at bars, but if I did, I imagine it would feel a lot like interrupting someone I don’t know. When you hit on me, you are interrupting my time with my friends—not to say this is necessarily a bad thing, if I like you, but come on.  A beer costs all but $4. It’s a nice way of saying, ‘Thank you for taking time away from your friends to talk to a perfect stranger.’

10)   Don’t touch me.

If you think you violate any of these rules, check yourself: you may be disrespecting us.

I was prompted to write this post on a Sunday, because last night I had to literally push a creepy guy away from me to keep him from “hugging” me. He was drunk, he put his hands on my waist before he introduced himself, I saw him hug [read: feel up] several other girls (and guys, actually), I made it clear to him that his advances weren’t appreciated, he didn’t offer to buy me a drink, and yet he still thought I would be okay with him putting his hands on me. When I pushed him away, one of his buddies acted all offended, like I was the one being rude. He insisted this guy was genuinely a “good guy,” and didn’t deserve to be pushed/embarrassed like that.

Excuse me, but I don’t care if you’re the president of United Way, the Children’s Fund, or the Basket of Adorable Puppies Foundation, if you chronically disrespect women, you are not a “good guy,” at least not in my book.

Oh, and by the way, just because I respect and value myself, does not make me a ‘bitch.’

Follow these rules, and you, too, may become a decent human being–and may even find a girlfriend.

Thanks.

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Responses

  1. I do not have any experience with drinking at bars, but I have been around men who have been drunk and like you portray here, it is amazing how much they (don’t) think they can get away with.

    This idea that being drunk is an excuse for being disrespectful of women is extremely problematic. It’s the case made for a lot of rape apologists and other horrible things.

    It’s good to know that you know your boundaries and are not afraid to enforce them. Good for you. And all I can say, really, is good luck with this problem in the future. We can always hope for a day when letters like this won’t be necessary, right?

  2. Amen to that!

    I especially hate the notion that guys are entitled to an explanation for why we don’t want to hang out with them. Well, maybe we just don’t want to, and that’s our right, and you don’t have the right to hang out with us, so just get lost when we tell you.

  3. The thing that’s so sad is that I have really very little experience drinking at bars, too, considering that I always go to the same one, and yet how sad that I felt the need to write this.

    Visiting bars can be fun, but also exhausting. Trying to get away from an asshole is tiring, making sure I never lose eye-contact with my drink, is possibly the most annoying thing ever. But you really can’t let your guard down, no matter what. My town is considered ‘safe.’ And yet 3 out of 5 of my immediate family members have been drugged at bars in the past 2 years, and my parents were slipped something at one of the fanciest bars in town. I know several people who were raped in my area, by acquaintances they met at bars.

    And yet I’m the one that’s nuts when I get mad a creeps who won’t leave me alone. Maybe I do come off as paranoid and ‘bitchy’, but a) who could blame me and b) whose fault is that?

    Ahhh, catharsis…

  4. As far as “6) Don’t call me ‘sweetie.’ I have a name.”.

    That’s all well and good, but do you expect everyone to already KNOW your name in advance?

    “9) Would it kill you to buy me a drink? ”

    Yes. It would. Buy your own. Or, for my list:

    “1) Don’t touch me. It doesn’t work for women, either.

    2) Don’t expect me to buy your drinks. You came to the bar, I assume you came with your own money. Use it. Assuming my purpose is to spend my money on you sets off 100 different red flags.

    3) Don’t bother me if I’m with a group, either. That also means not just waiting until a few or all peel off to play pool or use the toilet.”

    I find “rules” given to males as if we need to be controlled, without companion sets for females to be sexist.

    Also, the implication I always see, is that while it’s okay to tell a guy to fuck off in a bar setting, telling a woman the same thing is “disrespectful to women”.

    Why is that?

  5. David, I don’t care to argue with you about this. I wasn’t implying that women can’t be assholes, too. I’m simply writing my experiences and feelings, and since I’ve never been hit on by a girl at a bar, I can’t really speak to that, can I? If you want to write a list of things that piss you off about how girls treat you at bars, you are welcome to do so.

    On your own blog.

    Troll elsewhere.

  6. Of course, because anyone that doesn’t just immediately tell you what a wonderful list you’ve constructed, then toss a few denigrating comments about males, and then close with “Thank you for this!” must be trolling.

    Sure, sure. You keep thinking that.

  7. Actually David, I think it has more to do with the fact that you clearly are here to pick a fight and not engage in good faith. Acting like its all about agreeing is disingenuous. You aren’t trying to debate, you are trying to argue and fight about things that are not happening and insist that your perspective must be honored and addressed as though it has more validity than anyone else’s.

    You also came over to my blog after our last disagreement and tried to make specious illogical arguments about rape, and couldn’t even be bothered to identify yourself. We could have kept up a dialogue and disagreed like adults here, but you felt that you were entitled to trample everywhere like a petulant child.

    You may not be “trollin'” but you aren’t engaging in good faith like a responsible adult either.

  8. Also, one last point David.

    Women are allowed to discuss their personal experiences without catering to you. The whole world caters to you as a male, your perspective is constantly reified as correct and supported. So quit whining that women aren’t paying enough attention to you and your precious little problems. Deal with your own shit, and if you don’t like the fact that we deal with ours and have no interest in yours, I suggest you go elsewhere, cause all the temper tantrums in the world will not make us want to service you any more.

  9. Actually, I was debating in good faith. I pointed out that making generic lists that generalize “guys in bars” as following a certain behavior set is sexist.

    insist that your perspective must be honored and addressed as though it has more validity than anyone else’s.

    The poster is doing the same.

    Any sort of “Attention guys” list/article/topic would be doing this. If I were to make an “Attention, women at the mall” list, that generalized women based on experiences with a few random ones, it’d be called sexist.

    I’m simply holding her to the same standards she would hold a male. I’m sorry if that’s not taken well.

    You also came over to my blog after our last disagreement and tried to make specious illogical arguments about rape, and couldn’t even be bothered to identify yourself.

    I don’t even know who you are, sorry.

    We could have kept up a dialogue and disagreed like adults here, but you felt that you were entitled to trample everywhere like a petulant child.

    Considering I have no idea who you are, you might want to leave the ego at home, and stop assuming things.

    Women are allowed to discuss their personal experiences without catering to you.

    When men try it, women interestingly enough, step in and attempt to say that doing so is sexist.

    The whole world caters to you as a male

    Yeah, about that. No. Exaggeration isn’t really useful.

    So quit whining that women aren’t paying enough attention to you and your precious little problems.

    I could easily say the same to you. Having ovaries doesn’t make your issues more pertinent or important than mine, or anyone else’s.

    Deal with your own shit, and if you don’t like the fact that we deal with ours and have no interest in yours, I suggest you go elsewhere, cause all the temper tantrums in the world will not make us want to service you any more.

    Service me? What the hell are you even talking about? Stick to the topic at hand, not wherever you’re going with it.

    The problem here, is when you “deal with your own shit”, you involve men, and you involve your gross, inaccurate, and sexist generalizations OF men.

    Ironically, behavior that you call men sexist for doing, you freely engage in.

  10. Actually, I was debating in good faith. I pointed out that making generic lists that generalize “guys in bars” as following a certain behavior set is sexist.

    Actually, you’re not, because if you were paying attention, this is not a generic list, nor does it generalize about all guys in bars.

    I’m writing based on my experiences I had in a bar this weekend (and on numerous other occasions). I’m not passing a universal judgment on all men everywhere. While, yes, my post addresses “guys in bars,” it does so dripping with sarcasm. If you take it in context (which I have so thoughtfully provided), you’d recognize that I’m only addressing guys who violate these rules—the “assholes” I mentioned at the beginning of the post, the specific example I provided at the end, and anyone else who fits THAT behavior pattern…

    And I think I have a perfect right to do so, considering that many of these “rules” are not only universally expected of all people for the sake of general decency, male or female, but are also the law. Specifically, the no touching, no racial slurs, no harassment, “rules.” I shouldn’t have to write them down at all. And yet I do. Because my experience dictates that I must.

    Why would you think that I would discourage you from writing a similar list anyway? You know me that well? In fact, I do expect women to follow all these rules (including #9, #7 which were included more facetiously than anything). I’ve never heard men complain about any of these things (though I’m sure they do), so if you feel like you’ve been harassed, assaulted, or otherwise disrespected by women in bars, please, by all means, no one’s stopping you. Just don’t come into this space and accuse me of thought crimes.

    I don’t assume that ALL men act this way; I know, from experience, that SOME men do. In fact, I’ve been hit on by some very respectful and fun guys in the past—they, and others like them, are certainly not implicated here, nor do I think they would find much fault in my assessment.–> Cheers guys!! <3<3

  11. One more thing– I think Dori’s comment’s pretty much sum it up. You are here to pick a fight.

    If you wanted this to be a dialogue, instead of an argument you would have phrased your initial comments with less hostility.

    And don’t even try that “Oh, you were hostile first,” business. If you keep your hands to yourself in bars, my hostility wasn’t directed at you in the first place.

  12. I am argumentative and unapologetic by default. That’s just how I am.

    For the record, I don’t go to bars, because large crowds are uncomfortable to me, and honestly, the kind of woman that goes to a bar to meet men (implying she needs to be drunk to do so) isn’t the kind of woman I want to meet.

    I don’t care for generalized lists, even when you claim ‘sarcasm’, as feminists have often said, language is powerful, and throwing in a “j/k” at the end isn’t enough.

    • I find your dislike for generalized lists humorous since your first comments here were a complete generalization of feminists. Guess you don’t like it when the shoe is on the other foot except this post isn’t about all men since presumably all men don’t behave this way, just a few choice assholes who could use a lesson or two in decorum.

      I don’t care if you’re unapologetic, I care if you are argumentative since generally speaking, you don’t bring anything to the debate. It then turns into a pissing contest between you and anyone responding to you and veers off course. Once replies stop talking about the post and start talking about a particular commenter, my trolldar goes off. This blog is not your blog. Feel free to be unapologetic and argumentative there. You’re making yourself a nuisance and if you cannot engage (this means staying on topic and staying on point, no ad hominems, no generalizations, no sweeping statements) in good faith, you do not need to be here.

      I’ve seen you consistently, even while quoting passages, completely miss the issue or ignore it so that you can vent about some beef you have with women/feminism. “What about the men” is not looked upon kindly. In fact I think you’ll find that diminution of a stated issue is not looked upon fondly in anyone’s blog. If you want to talk about “what about those darn women” you can do it elsewhere, no one will stop you. This however is not the time or the place for you to conjure up some faux outrage so that you can argue about women. At no point did she state that women would never/could never harass men or that all men behave this way. If you choose to read it that way, that’s your right, but you are arguing about NOTHING. You are inventing things to argue about–that is not good faith. You add nothing to the conversation except examples of why feminism is needed. There have been plenty of trolls before you–and they did it better.

      Long story short: You are not engaging in good faith. Your arguments are all dependent on misreading/failing to read the posts. You only serve to try and move the focus from the issues presented to the issues you want to talk about. I think you would be better served by arguing these issues on your own platform instead of trying to hijack other posts. Additionally, you’ve decided to take your show on the road and similarly troll the posts of other commenters. This is not acceptable. This is not a democracy, this is a feminocracy and you do not have the right to free speech here–your continued posting is dependent entirely on whether or not I wish to allow you. I’m sure that really grates on your nerves but it is the truth. I have made no promises about allowing anyone and everyone their day in the comment box.

  13. Hey David,

    First off… look at the website you are on… it’s called Feminocracy for a reason… it’s a place where women can post whatever they want to talk about from their point of view. If you wanted to post a retort on IHateBitches.com or IShouldBeAsexualBecauseILoveMyselfSoMuch.com, go ahead… it’s your god given and government right.

    There’s no need to bash someone else’s point of view especially when they feel that they are being harassed on a constant basis. Does this mean she’s personally attacking you exactly? No.

    Secondly David… since I have a penis, I know dicks, and you’re definitely one.

    Good day to you sir.

  14. Also… maybe go out, grab a drink and loosen up… it doesn’t mean you have to touch women, because I’m sure they don’t want to be touching you.

    With love,
    DeMuth

  15. “We would rather not police comments but the atmosphere we’re trying to foster is one of contribution and active discussion. Everyone isn’t required to have the same opinion, but we ask that disagreement and discussion both remain respectful.

    Troll like behavior will get you a warning or two before you get banned. By troll like, I mean the people who come out of the woodwork to tell you that your concerns are invalid, that you are unintelligent if you don’t agree with them, that they have no need for further education or evidence because they’ve got anecdotes, and the like. Basically those who are inflammatory just for the sake of stirring shit won’t be tolerated.”

    First and only warning David.

  16. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. (I hope)

    I tend to agree with your opinion that people who go to bars to get drunk and find hook-ups aren’t the kinds of people I want to be around. That’s simply my opinion, and others can disagree. Unfortunately, I wind up at the bar a lot, since there aren’t many local hang outs in my town–it’s the only place I can go to see lots of my friends at once. But the fact is there are also men who go to bars to get drunk and pick up women, as you know. And it has been my experience that these men tend to be rude and often cross the line. Drunk flirty women, I assume, also do this. It’s not cool.

    But from the perspective of a woman who knows how few date-rapists in her county are caught, how dismissive the authorities down here are, and how guys at this bar will gang up on girls, this behavior is not only annoying, it can be terrifying.
    This is patriarchy at work here–not so much in the behavior of the men, so much as in the outside system that allows it to happen. It’s the same system that prevents men from reporting harassment, abuse, and rape from women, because such complaints will make them “look like a pussy.” It hurts everyone. When that guy at the bar drugged my mom, he also drugged my stepdad and another m/f couple. No one is safe from bar violence.

    I understand your discomfort with sarcasm, and that it may even be counter-productive is a point I’m glad you brought up. But understand that I am coming from a place of genuine anger, fear, and hurt. When men I don’t know touch me, it sets my mind off in a million different horrifying directions, because my family, friends, and I have experienced horrible things. I came here to “let it out,” because this is a safe space, where I know I can speak about this without being dismissed.

  17. David, by all reasoning, if you do not do those things to women, then isn’t it obvious she isn’t talking to/about you in her original post? Don’t try to give me any garbage about men having the right to act that way or that they don’t, because they do. If you’ve been in a bar, you’ve probably seen it at least once. THOSE are the people she’s talking about.

    It’s amazing, but stay with me here: THEY AREN’T ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT YOU.

  18. First, let me address this:

    It’s amazing, but stay with me here: THEY AREN’T ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT YOU.

    Uh, see, thing is, where in ANY of my posts did I say they were? Thanks, shut up now.

    Moving on, to reply to manafanana:

    Yes, the discomfort with sarcasm is valid. Much like that college newspaper that made light of rape (I don’t recall the college offhand) could not be dismissed as “satire”, much like Solanas couldn’t dismiss her hateful “manifesto” as “satire” later in life, I find that adding “oh, sarcasm” or “satire” or “kidding” to a statement is just an admission that you *know* you shouldn’t have said what you said, or at least that you shouldn’t have said it HOW you did.

    I understand you can be coming from a place where certain people have made you wary, but I find it to be counter productive to assume that any/everyone will have that intent. Generalizing in such a way isn’t healthy, and it wouldn’t be a behavior you’d want to see a male engaging in, in regards to women, would it?

    I’d just like to see a similar sort of barometer applied. A sort of “Would I want a man writing something similar about women?”. If the answer is no, then perhaps rethink what, or how you’re saying it.

    Even if it’s totally unintentional, sooner or later, you start lumping the good with the bad, and you tend to just assume everyone is, on some level, like the problem individuals. I’ve talked to enough feminists, and the ones that have reached that point, and become aware of it, realize that that is a problem. Becoming wary of *everyone* of an entire gender, regardless of your experiences with a small amount of them, is nothing more than sexism.

    Language, like I said, is a powerful tool, and when you use it in general terms you will end up offending someone.

    Can you honestly say that if you say a blog post, generalizing women in some way you found offense, and tagged with a sort of after-the-fact “this was sarcasm”, you wouldn’t comment, or point out that it was sexist?

    There are plenty of non-bar places to hang out with friends. After having a gaggle of painfully intoxicated women try to drag me onto a dance floor, the only bars I show up in now are small, quiet, dance-free affairs, where people go to drink a beer undisturbed.

    As far as being dismissed, by dismissing someone’s concerns, or trivializing them, you become no better than that which you speak against.

    All I’ll say to this:

    By troll like, I mean the people who come out of the woodwork to tell you that your concerns are invalid, that you are unintelligent if you don’t agree with them, that they have no need for further education or evidence because they’ve got anecdotes, and the like.

    Is check yourself before you attack others. When you tell someone that your anecdotes are better than theirs, and that their concerns are invalid, you’re doing exactly what you speak against doing.

    What I see you’ve done here, is say, basically, because I’m male, that my concerns about the sexist generalizations of this post are invalid.

  19. Uh, see, thing is, where in ANY of my posts did I say they were? Thanks, shut up now.

    In all of your posts you took a defensive stance and decided that she was generalizing about all men, which would by default include you. You even purposely ignored the context and kept doing it.

    Troll fail.

    Also, as far as your comments on my blog, do you think I can’t track what websites visitors come from, and when?

    And finally, check your own ego. You want to point this stuff that you feel is oh so unfair out? well, most blogging platforms are free. Carve out your own little corner of the web and go to town. You do not have any inherent right to be heard in anyone else’s space and yet here you are, continuing to throw temper tantrums no matter how people come at you.

  20. In all of your posts you took a defensive stance and decided that she was generalizing about all men, which would by default include you. You even purposely ignored the context and kept doing it.

    Pointing out that someone is being sexist is now being “defensive”? See my statement about doing things you don’t want other people to do.

    And finally, check your own ego. You want to point this stuff that you feel is oh so unfair out? well, most blogging platforms are free.

    Again, if you wouldn’t want someone to dismiss your concerns as “little” or unimportant, don’t do it to others.

    Thing is, I see many feminist blogs that comment on something that happened off of their blog, and encourage their readers to go over to that place, and either comment, or send a letter.

    Do YOU have any inherent right to be heard? Would you accept a statement of “Get out, and go somewhere else?”

    Also, again, I don’t even know who you are, but believe as you wish.

  21. You know what would be really nice? Seeing more men that know something about what they’re talking about. It’s really sad that we often see people like you, David, that believe that they can come in and tell everyone else that they’re wrong using basis circular logic that makes no sense, or just by attempting to hijack a topic. This post was about what manafanana hated about the people that she ran into at bars, and you try to tell her that she’s wrong? It’s an opinion, and she has every right to it.

  22. You tend to get “get out and go somewhere else” when you interrupt conversation for the sake of a pissing contest about the poor men who may be harmed by women speaking out about harassment. You really ought to check out finally feminism 101 since you have all the classic signs of not getting it. It’s not about you. Your behavior in this blog is akin to a child screaming at the top of their lungs in the middle of a room. You want attention, you crave it. Perhaps your concerns would be valid if you stated them in a non combative tone. You’ve decided that the way to be heard is to scream overtop of the rest of the conversation. It’s not going to fly here. You have no inherent right to speak, and any you did have flew out the window when you decided to be combative and argumentative without a point. I won’t have someone constantly interrupt without a point, and harass other commenters.

    Your first clue that you just might be wrong is telling a woman that they shouldn’t be where they are if they don’t want to get harassed. Sounds like you yourself have an issue with overgeneralizations–as if all men can’t help but harass women in bars. Men manage. The post isn’t about how men simply must harass, but a shout out to those that feel the need. The fact that you read that to mean all men says a lot about what you expect to see coming from a feminist blog. Not my problem though.

    I’d like to take this moment to steal the comment policy from finally feminism 101

    “Dissenting views are welcome here up to a point, that point being that the comments are substantive in content, civil in tone and submitted to an on-topic thread. Dissenting views submitted to an off-topic thread will be deleted. If dissenters can’t be bothered to show sufficient respect for the others here to find the appropriate thread for their dissenting comment, then it’s obvious that they won’t be civil and substantive in any actual discussion.”

    You have not been civil, you have not been on topic, and you have not contributed anything substantive. You want to argue the points you want to argue regardless of what the post is about. There are so many blogs and websites dedicated to “what about the men” mentality. Surely there is a place for you somewhere on the internet that wants to hear about the wrongs feminism has done against you. That said, this post is not about you, and I will not allow it to be about you and your hurt feelings.

    http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/purpose/faq-i-asked-some-feminists-a-question-and-instead-of-answering-they-sent-me-here-why/

    http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/06/03/faq-arent-feminists-just-sexists-towards-men/

    http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/19/faq-arent-you-all-just-a-bunch-of-feminazis/

    http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/10/faq-why-do-you-feminists-hate-men/

    “Women focusing on women’s issues is not sexist

    One of the reasons why feminists are said to be sexist towards men is because we focus on, and privilege, the female point of view. The problem with this assertion is twofold:

    1. It assumes that focusing on women’s issues means not looking at men’s issues at all
    [Read More: Why are you concentrating on X when Y is so much more important?]
    2. It assumes a level playing field, one which doesn’t actually exist yet
    [Read More: What is male privilege?]

    No one is saying that discussions on men and masculinities shouldn’t go on. It is absolutely important to have dialogue on men’s issues, including discussions on violence done towards men. But, the thing is, men, not women, need to be the ones creating the spaces to discuss men’s issues.”

    You will not dictate who says what and when–that’s my job and you have been warned.

  23. Dori: I can get you his ip address if you want to confirm his identity.

  24. DeMuth, I tip my hat to you.

  25. That would be great Ophelia. Appreciated. Honestly, if I’m wrong I’ll apologize, but somehow the comments I had to delete sound a lot like this guy.

  26. And David:

    Do YOU have any inherent right to be heard?

    I have a right to be heard in my own space, hence why I only comment in spaces where I know I can engage in dialogue and avoid being argumentative in a place that doesn’t support my perspective. If at any time I am told that I and my opinions are not welcome, I leave, because it is not my space.

    Would you accept a statement of “Get out, and go somewhere else?”

    I would if I was in the space of someone else, and I have. However, I have also learned that throwing a temper tantrum like you are when something like that is said is like demanding the right to stay in someone’s house after you’ve taken a dump on their carpet. Its just rude.

    It also displays a complete lack of respect for your hosts, which indicates that you have no interest in debate beyond having your issues dealt with at the exclusion of all others.

    Like I said, you want a place to talk about your experience? Make one, just like the rest of us have, instead of demanding that the spaces other have made cater to you.

  27. […] One of the funnier feminist blogs, Feminocracy’s four to five regular contributors provide a great mix of short and sweet content and longer essays discussing everything from current events and pop culture to broader issues in gender politics and media trends. Recent Sample Post: An open letter to guys at bars. […]


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